Liba Lurie

Hi, I‘m Liba

I give parents the tools they need to respond to their kids with confidence and building loving relationships that last.

Parenting Coach, Psychologist and Mother of Four

At one point or another, most parents feel lost and overwhelmed. I give parents the tools they need to understand and respond to their kids so that they can feel calmer, more confident in their day-to-day interactions, and enjoy raising content, capable and considerate kids.

HERE’S THE FULL STORY

When I first started having kids, like most moms, I wanted to give them the best of everything. Above all, I wanted to give them a sensitive and emotionally supportive parent who was present, attuned and could keep her big feelings under wraps so that they wouldn't get in the way of their development.

Working in private practice as a Psychologist made it even more clear to me just how crucial it is to my kids' development that I keep my cool when I'm feeling on edge and respond to them with attention, attunement and acceptance.

When I counsel women in my private practice, I sit with them for more than 10 hours a week listening as they identify the unmet needs of their early childhood relationships, mourn the relationships that they wish they could have had with their caregivers and acknowledge and rebuild their perception of themselves as valuable and loveable individuals.

The connection between what I was experiencing in my personal life and what I was seeing and learning in my professional life became abundantly clear. If I was going to help other women work through their own concerns about being a parent so they could be better with their children, I'd have to take the same journey for myself.

I didn’t want to just stop yelling. I wanted to understand why I felt like I was in survival mode all the time so that I could start to enjoy the everyday interactions with my kids and utilize them to nurture loving and lasting relationships with them.

So I poured over the theories and research that spanned from the earliest developments in the field of psychology to present-day discoveries, drew on my clinical experience, and paid close attention to my own life with kids.

I spent years learning and understanding how our early childhood relationships shape us: from our unconscious perceptions of ourselves, others and the world around us, to the wiring and functioning of our brain. I was dedicated to figuring out how to rewire my knee jerk reactions as well as guide other women like myself to do the same.

I drew on the vast field of psychology including the Psychodynamic and Cognitive Behaviour schools of thought. I delved deep into the concepts of Attachment Theory, Object Relations, Self Psychology and honed my skills invalidated treatment methods including Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Somatic Experiencing.

After close to a decade of research, clinical experience and personal trial and error, I made sense of my own early experiences and integrated my growth into my own parenting. I formulated and verified a 5 step method that I still use today to guide my work with the women I serve as well as to help me make sense of those chaotic moments with my own kids.

I finally figured it out!

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy. There were moments along my journey when I thought I couldn't go wrong, and then I’d stumble back into my old habitual patterns of reacting. I felt discouraged and wondered if I’d ever manage to change my automatic reactions to my kids. But I stayed the course, committed to actualizing the relationship with my kids that I always envisioned, and bit by bit, over time, I started to see lasting change.

At first, I would still snap at my kids, but I was more understanding and less hard on myself. That allowed me to take a less critical look at my actions and the thoughts and feelings that motivated them so that over time I was able to catch myself BEFORE I would lose my cool.

Sure, I still snap from time to time, but it comes as less of a surprise these days. I feel far less ashamed and downtrodden, and I'm far better at containing my big emotions so they don't get in the way of making sense of my kids' behavior and thoughtfully setting boundaries.

What’s more is that I started to see a change in my kids, too. They were more cooperative, playful and loving, and we finally started to enjoy being together and sharing quality moments of connections amidst the comings and goings of daily life. Don’t get me wrong, my kids can still be challenging at times, and life can throw some curveballs that send me off course. For the most part, however, instead of feeling lost and confused, as I did at the start of my journey, I feel more present, peaceful and patient. The best part by far is that now I actually take joy in the moments I spend with my kids, and feel good about guiding them on their journey through childhood.

Today, I take joy in my daily interactions with my kids. I feel present and connected to them and our relationship. Even when things get crazy, I am confident that I am doing a good job.

I'm not the only one. The women I have the honor of supporting on their journey of discovery, repair, growth and connection report the same experience, and it's amazing to witness.

Stop Reacting and Start Responding

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