As parents, we all strive to be present with our children—to engage fully in the precious moments we share with them, and create lasting memories that they'll cherish for a lifetime.
But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, life has a way of throwing obstacles in your path, and maintaining that sense of presence suddenly feels like a Herculean feat.
So instead of paying full attention to your kid when they retell the details of their day like you're supposed to, you feel rushed and distraced- and they feel ignored.
But when you take control of your attention (instead of getting pulled off course by every ding and detail on your to-do list), then you can direct it toward your kid's state of mind, understand their needs and respond to them in a way tha tnurtures their growth.
That doesn't mean that you're avilable to them every minute, of every day, but it does mean that you are equipped to consciouly decide how to respond to their ongoing emotional needs and practical demands.
When you're kids can count on you to be emotionally available and intentional in your interactions with them, it fosters a sense of security and attachment, leading to healthier emotional development and stronger bonds.
Not to mention those moments when you're not just puting out fires, but actually getting to know your kids.
Being able to show up, create and participate in moments of undivided attention (even if it's just for a few minutes) creates the foudation of your kids' perception of themselves as valuable individuals, deserving of love, and the ground work for all future relationships.
So how do you do it?
Here are 3 practical steps you can take to downgrade distractions and be more present with your kids.
Set Boundaries with Technology: Designate specific times and places for screen use and prioritize quality time with your children without distractions. For example, you probably wouldn't get into your bed with shoes on, so don't sit at the dinner table with your phone. I know it's not easy to create the rules and stick to them (and that that's an understatement), but the effort is a worthwhile investment with immeasurable dividends.
Practice Mindfulness: You don't have to head to the mountain tops for this one. All you need to do is take a moment and consciously decide to pay attention to something, anything. It can be the sensation of your breath filling your lungs, it can be the taste of an orange slice or the sound of the wind. It doesn't matter what you pay attention to, as long as you're making an intentional decision to pay attention. And remember, it's a practice, so keep at it and watch what happens next.
Seek Support: If you're feeling bogged down and burnt out, showing up and being present with your kids will be near impossible. Not because you're not good enough, but because you can't be present for others, while simultaneously ignorig your own needs. So instead of beating yourself up, reach out for support. Wether it be a parent or partner, a cleaning person or a sitter, ask for help.
And if you want to figure out why you keep getting caught up in the rat race, so you can slow down and actually enjoy your kids, then consider getting some professional support and guidance on your journey to presence.
I'm a psychologist specializing in helping moms tackle distraction so they can show up better, for themselves, and their kids. I've spent the last decade showin ghundreds of moms the way out of survival mode and into a life with kids that they actually enjoy.
I offer a range of packages and a free, no-commitment discovery call to help you decide your best next step on your journey to feeling calmer, more in control and confident in your parenting. Click here to book yours today.